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Why Can’t Women Accept a Compliment?

November 8, 2009

I was out for dinner the other night with a gentleman with whom there was no romantic connection, or chance of one whatsoever, and he knew it. That didn’t stop him from, half an hour in, complimenting me on my appearance. “You’re very pretty” he said, then almost covered his head in anticipation of some violent response from me.  When I said, “thanks!”, he was shocked and relieved. “You’re not like most women,” he said. “Most women take compliments as insults, as though you actually mean the opposite.” He then went off on a ramble I couldn’t quite follow about women being suspicious and defensive and angry and just generally insane.

I’ve heard this sentment before from men, and they’re not all talking crap. I have actually seen women sneer at men who offer some compliment on their appearance – it’s always the appearance (ever heard of a pretty blonde flying into a rage over a guy praising her sharp intellect?). It’s like they think that in appreciating their looks, the blokes are also telling them that they’re only complimenting them in order to sleep with them. These ladies are dismissing the possibility that a compliment might be just that, simple and sweet.

I have to say, my interpretation is very different, or at least, my reaction is. I LOVE a compliment, and have frequently responded to them with “flattery will get you everywhere my dear boy” or some such. I feel proud and happy when a man compliments my appearance, whether he is attractive or not – in short, I feel I deserve it (catcalls are different, but even they can be cheering). Could the ladies who object so stenuously to being told they are pretty or hot or shapely be lacking in confidence? I think not – I think perhaps they’re so arrogant, so full of assumptions that all men want to do is have sex with them, that they have lost the ability to be grateful for some praise.  To those ladies, all I can say is:  enjoy those compliments while they last. It sure won’t be forever.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. MR. Ben permalink
    November 9, 2009 1:23 am

    So Zoey,

    I really like this blog, however I feel that being constructive might help in the grand scheme of things. So this guy gives you a compliment and then berries his head like a dog after he did something wrong. This is very common. Too many times have seen friends buy expensive clothes or cologne before a date. Go to expensive restaurants and even practice everything before the date begins; then show up and completely strike out. Here is the problem…No CONFIDENCE. From my extensive experience, it doesn’t matter how your hair looks, what kind of shoes you wear or even where you go. If you are comfortable with yourself and secure as a person, then you are guaranteed a positive response. It’s when you are insecure and don’t have the confidence to back yourself up that gets you in trouble and negative responses. So that’s this guys problem. End of story!

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