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Pigging Out: The Best Diet On Earth

December 1, 2009

Around this time of year, what would watercooler chat be without festive weight gain? We’ve just entered party season and it’s only a matter of time before it shows around the waist. But instead of moaning, then putting on the same old weight anyway, I have a far better plan. It’s far more fun and far more effective. And it involves binge eating your most tempting food, so you never want to look at one again, at least not for another year. Pick a day – or two – and just shovel it in; go crazy with the cocktail sausages and mince pies. Throw some choc on top of it. You’ll be choosing the veggie dippers at the rest of the season’s parties, I can tell you.

I write this with a thunderous stomach ache of my own. Today at work we did a mince pie taste test, which will turn into an article in Thursday’s paper. We had seven different types, from niche luxury purveyors’ Foreman and Field to good old Waitrose. Led my me, the office gorged on mince pies; in the name of work. We shovelled in oozing rich real mince meat pies from Fortnum’s; sickly sweet, cognac drenched Duchy originals…we couldn’t stop, so delicious were these first mince pies of the year. Until suddenly, our fingernails full of dirty mince, our mouths layered in diced cherries, orange peel and sugar, pastry crumbled down our fronts, we suddenly realised we all felt sick. It didn’t take long until we knew – and we do know – we wouldn’t be having any more mince pies in a hurry.

Next time I’m at a party, there won’t be any of that “now or never” feeling you sometimes get with festive food. And since I’ve tried seven types of pie (and you should too- it’s worth all the willpower in the world), I can rest assured- as I nibble my celery and smoked salmon – that I’ve been down that road and probably enjoyed it’s fruits to the max already. I can relax, lose my binge belly, and enjoy.

But first, I need to get through this tearing stomach ache.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Editor-in-chef permalink
    December 3, 2009 2:25 am

    Ouch – seems a bit extreme to have to go all the way to a stomach ache. For good or ill, mince pies do not seem to be feature in festive fare in the US.

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