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The Single Person’s Catch-22

February 5, 2011

Sometimes the sofa is so tempting. But when you're single, can it ever be guilt-free?

It’s Wednesday night. You’re tired,  just not in the mood for other people. The idea of your sofa, your book, your TV and the stop by Waitrose on the way home (where you can treat yourself to packs of tropical fruit – yum!) is so appealing. And yet there’s a party. There will be booze and “opportunities”. Which do you choose?

If you’re single and the type that gets neurotic about those opportunities, the choice hardly matters. What matters is the inevitable, disproportionate period of angst and debate about what you “should” do. On one hand: home is always nice. On the other, you won’t meet anyone at home.

The two big conflicting arguments in singletude today are these. One: “do what YOU want and the rest will follow” . This means: going home, eating tropical fruit and being peaceful whether by reading or by watching junk TV, which will help solidify your inner core and thus make you more “grounded” and thus a better proposition for a relationship and more attractive to boot. The other one is: “TAKE STEPS! The knight in shining armour is NOT going to appear. So get out there, get online, go go go”.

Reconciling the two is every singleton’s constant nightmare. And by the time you’ve agonised about it, there IS no right decision. Go home and you won’t be able to concentrate for fear of missing out. Go out and – while caught in a “so what do you do?” spiral of chat – images of your sofa and that packet of pineapple will keep flashing in your head.

Worse, going out when you felt like going home (or thought you might have felt like going home) puts the millstone of expectation round your neck. Fail to meet anyone, kiss anyone, get anyone’s number and the evening feels like  failure. Yet expectation gives you a distinct whiff of…something repellent.

To try or not to try – that is the damn question.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 5, 2011 2:22 pm

    Maybe if you went out with more than the reason to get those things then you won’t feel like a failure if they do not happen.

  2. lexie permalink
    February 5, 2011 3:15 pm

    very well put my friend, zoe. calvin, sometimes i wonder if women are actually hornier than men! please. if you aren’t going out with the primary hope of meeting someone cute and maybe getting a number, then you are really the mystery to be solved. common. of course this is the first thing on a single ladies mind. we’re horny, a superficial as men, want something handsome to look at, etc. so yes, everything else really doesn’t matter that much.

    my latest line: if love is blind, i would have found mr. right a million times and a long long time ago.

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