The Single Person’s Catch-22
It’s Wednesday night. You’re tired, just not in the mood for other people. The idea of your sofa, your book, your TV and the stop by Waitrose on the way home (where you can treat yourself to packs of tropical fruit – yum!) is so appealing. And yet there’s a party. There will be booze and “opportunities”. Which do you choose?
If you’re single and the type that gets neurotic about those opportunities, the choice hardly matters. What matters is the inevitable, disproportionate period of angst and debate about what you “should” do. On one hand: home is always nice. On the other, you won’t meet anyone at home.
The two big conflicting arguments in singletude today are these. One: “do what YOU want and the rest will follow” . This means: going home, eating tropical fruit and being peaceful whether by reading or by watching junk TV, which will help solidify your inner core and thus make you more “grounded” and thus a better proposition for a relationship and more attractive to boot. The other one is: “TAKE STEPS! The knight in shining armour is NOT going to appear. So get out there, get online, go go go”.
Reconciling the two is every singleton’s constant nightmare. And by the time you’ve agonised about it, there IS no right decision. Go home and you won’t be able to concentrate for fear of missing out. Go out and – while caught in a “so what do you do?” spiral of chat – images of your sofa and that packet of pineapple will keep flashing in your head.
Worse, going out when you felt like going home (or thought you might have felt like going home) puts the millstone of expectation round your neck. Fail to meet anyone, kiss anyone, get anyone’s number and the evening feels like failure. Yet expectation gives you a distinct whiff of…something repellent.
To try or not to try – that is the damn question.